One trend I've noticed lately is that people say it's best not to read self-help books.
In some ways, I agree with this.
Robert Kiyosaki and his "Rich Dad Poor Dad" did not get rich because he used his principles. He became rich because he sold a book in which he advised him to use his principles.
The largest fraudulent industry in Russia is built on the same effect (you know what it is called). They talk about how to become businessmen, but their whole business is about how to become businessmen. Sounds stupid, right? Yes, only people give hundreds of millions a year for this.
American writer MJ DeMarco in his book "Fastlane Millionaire" calls this phenomenon a paradox of practice.
Instead of using their advice first and getting rich, these, so to speak, businessmen make it easier: they sell advice on how to get rich and get rich on it.
I understand perfectly why after this people do not like training and books on self-development. Simply because the people who wrote the books are almost all subject to the paradox of practice.
But there is another reason why people don't like self-help books. They read such books, but nothing changes in their life. They start to complain that self-help books don't work.
As you will see, the books are not to blame for this.
Self-development books don't work if you don't work
People who don't believe in self-help books share one thing. They are skeptics.
They open their next self-help book, buy their 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, read it cover to cover, and grin. Another cheap self-development book that did not change my life. Hmm ...
Of course, it will not change your life, you idiot - you didn’t do what it says! You keep looking for all the new books, articles, films, advice - but your life does not move a single millimeter.
What are you doing? That's right, nothing. Then get the appropriate result - nothing!
The same as meeting girls. You can read tens of thousands of articles and books on this topic and say that they all don't work. But in fact, it's you who are scared to shit to go out and meet someone. Not articles should go out and do business. You have to do it.
And here comes the most important obstacle: you are not ready to change your life. You have read the book - but to follow the advice of this book, you need to break out of your usual attitudes for a second. You need to do something differently and compromise your real identity. You can understand that you have lived wrongly all your life and now you have to start everything from scratch.
At this point, 99% of people stumble. They think that a self-help book will save them from the difficult process of working on themselves. But the book can only help you overcome the painful experience, but it will still be painful. It will hurt you to change old habits, old friends, old jobs, old lives.
And instead of going further through this pain, you ... You just say: "Books on self-development do not work." Pretty easy, right? But you don't work.
It is you who continue to mark time from year to year, without doing anything that would knock you out of the standard routine. You don’t take risks, you don’t feel pain, you don’t do what you need to do - and are self-development books to blame for everything? Tell me.
Also Read: 10 tips for those who know everything but do nothing
No book on self-development in the world will help you if you are not ready to listen to her advice and do what it says. You read it - make a haughty face "fii, why should I follow this advice."
Open your eyes. This book doesn’t work for you because you don’t take it to heart. You do not believe that you can change your life, and no book in the world will make you believe. Because you are an eternal skeptic.
You are the person who laughs contemptuously at the sight of any sincere emotion.
You are the one who never revealed your identity because you were too busy showing your skepticism.
Whatever happens in your life, you will continue to make a scornful grimace because you think it will make you cooler. No, it won't make you cooler.
Your skepticism and sarcasm just poisoned your soul - nothing more.
You have not become cool - you have become soulless. You don't believe in anyone or anything - you sold your heart to look cooler. You don't have something to relate to without sarcasm and a grin, so what kind of help do you expect from the book?
Self-help books only work for those who believe in them.
If you threw away all prejudices and said to yourself: “So, now I am ready to listen and believe in order to make my life better,” then books on self-development will work for you.
You have to shut up for a second and cut out your skepticism - then the ideas from the books can reach your mind. People read such books on the sly and do not tell anyone - it is considered a shame to admit that you are not perfect.
Deep down, people hold the mask of a sarcastic skeptic if someone finds out that they are reading such books. " Oh, yes, I read it for fun, hehe " - that's why books on self-development don't work for you.
You are too involved in what others will say about your self-development, instead of being involved in it and changing your life. You ask everyone for advice: friends, acquaintances, books, articles, videos - you are looking for any information you can find.
BUT YOU DO NOT BELIEVE IN HER.
You are a child of sarcasm, and your whole life will be sarcasm.
You will smile sarcastically at fat Petya, who read such books and began to take care of himself, went to the gym. It's funny to you that some fat trust wants to work on itself. You make fun of Petya as best you can.
But after a couple of years this fattiest Petya lost weight, gained muscle, and found himself a beautiful girl - and you look at him with envy.
You yourself would not dare to do that. You dare not admit your imperfection. You are an eternal skeptic, and therefore self-development books do not work for you.
Easy, friend. I think you've already guessed it yourself. Do the opposite of what you are doing.
First, turn off your ego barrier and admit that you can be taught something.
I recently talked about how to become confident. I told you that you are already a complete puzzle, that you have to be selfish and self-confident.
It's like that.
But I did not say that you cannot decorate the puzzle even more - this is exactly what you need good books on self-development.
Be alone with yourself, turn off your barrier “I'm the coolest, what this book can teach me” - and listen to the knowledge that you receive.
As soon as you turn off all your skepticism, all your grin (which, in fact, is a defensive reaction of your shame), you will notice: books on self-development begin to teach you new things and change your life.
Second: follow the advice you receive.
Think about it, if you read one of the best books on self-development for men, "The New Encyclopedia of Bodybuilding" by Arnold Schwarzenegger - will your muscles get bigger from reading?
Of course not, what nonsense ?! - you will say.
And I agree with you.
Why did you open the next top 100 books on self-development, read everything you can from there, but everything is the same in your life?
Here lies the secret of how to develop. You read resources, consume information, and act. If all people followed this advice, then no one would say, "Self-development books don't work," because they work.
I can give you a damn ton of examples of how they work.
Austin Cleon's Steal Like an Artist helped me overcome my inner barriers and tell you all this. She saved me from the eternal question of a creative person: "Am I worthy to be creative?" - thanks to this book, I no longer ask this question. I say what I have to say.
Mark Manson's book Models (not translated into Russian) taught me how to build relationships with girls - but only after I applied the principles described in it.
Malcolm Gladwell's book David and Goliath reinforced my belief that I could create a huge resource for self-development alone - without any help.
The book "Choose Yourself" by James Altucher once again showed me that looking for office work on a regular schedule is suicide and must be avoided at all costs.
I can enumerate endlessly and repeat to you the same thing with my examples, but the essence is the same: THE BOOKS ON SELF DEVELOPMENT WORK.
To these books, as in any business, you need the right approach, then they will work.
The easiest recipe to improve your life
Trust that self-help books work
Follow the advice that self-development books give you
Bam! And your life will begin to change, I promise, friend.
If you BELIEVE and DO ACTION, you will come back and say thank you to me, because the result will not belong in coming.
Self-help books don't work if you don't believe in them
No book on self-development in the world will help you if you are not ready to listen to her advice and do what it says. You read it - make a haughty face "fii, why should I follow this advice."
Open your eyes. This book doesn’t work for you because you don’t take it to heart. You do not believe that you can change your life, and no book in the world will make you believe. Because you are an eternal skeptic.
You are the person who laughs contemptuously at the sight of any sincere emotion.
You are the one who never revealed your identity because you were too busy showing your skepticism.
Whatever happens in your life, you will continue to make a scornful grimace because you think it will make you cooler. No, it won't make you cooler.
Your skepticism and sarcasm just poisoned your soul - nothing more.
You have not become cool - you have become soulless. You don't believe in anyone or anything - you sold your heart to look cooler. You don't have something to relate to without sarcasm and a grin, so what kind of help do you expect from the book?
Self-help books only work for those who believe in them.
If you threw away all prejudices and said to yourself: “So, now I am ready to listen and believe in order to make my life better,” then books on self-development will work for you.
You have to shut up for a second and cut out your skepticism - then the ideas from the books can reach your mind. People read such books on the sly and do not tell anyone - it is considered a shame to admit that you are not perfect.
Deep down, people hold the mask of a sarcastic skeptic if someone finds out that they are reading such books. " Oh, yes, I read it for fun, hehe " - that's why books on self-development don't work for you.
You are too involved in what others will say about your self-development, instead of being involved in it and changing your life. You ask everyone for advice: friends, acquaintances, books, articles, videos - you are looking for any information you can find.
BUT YOU DO NOT BELIEVE IN HER.
You are a child of sarcasm, and your whole life will be sarcasm.
You will smile sarcastically at fat Petya, who read such books and began to take care of himself, went to the gym. It's funny to you that some fat trust wants to work on itself. You make fun of Petya as best you can.
But after a couple of years this fattiest Petya lost weight, gained muscle, and found himself a beautiful girl - and you look at him with envy.
You yourself would not dare to do that. You dare not admit your imperfection. You are an eternal skeptic, and therefore self-development books do not work for you.
How do you make self-help books work?
Easy, friend. I think you've already guessed it yourself. Do the opposite of what you are doing.
First, turn off your ego barrier and admit that you can be taught something.
I recently talked about how to become confident. I told you that you are already a complete puzzle, that you have to be selfish and self-confident.
It's like that.
But I did not say that you cannot decorate the puzzle even more - this is exactly what you need good books on self-development.
Be alone with yourself, turn off your barrier “I'm the coolest, what this book can teach me” - and listen to the knowledge that you receive.
As soon as you turn off all your skepticism, all your grin (which, in fact, is a defensive reaction of your shame), you will notice: books on self-development begin to teach you new things and change your life.
Second: follow the advice you receive.
Think about it, if you read one of the best books on self-development for men, "The New Encyclopedia of Bodybuilding" by Arnold Schwarzenegger - will your muscles get bigger from reading?
Of course not, what nonsense ?! - you will say.
And I agree with you.
Why did you open the next top 100 books on self-development, read everything you can from there, but everything is the same in your life?
Here lies the secret of how to develop. You read resources, consume information, and act. If all people followed this advice, then no one would say, "Self-development books don't work," because they work.
I can give you a damn ton of examples of how they work.
Austin Cleon's Steal Like an Artist helped me overcome my inner barriers and tell you all this. She saved me from the eternal question of a creative person: "Am I worthy to be creative?" - thanks to this book, I no longer ask this question. I say what I have to say.
Mark Manson's book Models (not translated into Russian) taught me how to build relationships with girls - but only after I applied the principles described in it.
Malcolm Gladwell's book David and Goliath reinforced my belief that I could create a huge resource for self-development alone - without any help.
The book "Choose Yourself" by James Altucher once again showed me that looking for office work on a regular schedule is suicide and must be avoided at all costs.
I can enumerate endlessly and repeat to you the same thing with my examples, but the essence is the same: THE BOOKS ON SELF DEVELOPMENT WORK.
To these books, as in any business, you need the right approach, then they will work.
The easiest recipe to improve your life
Trust that self-help books work
Follow the advice that self-development books give you
Bam! And your life will begin to change, I promise, friend.
If you BELIEVE and DO ACTION, you will come back and say thank you to me, because the result will not belong in coming.
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